Genesis 1: 26-31

On the Side of Love

Rev. Susan Cartmell

The Congregational Church of Needham

Sunday February 7, 2010

This month our worship theme is love. We chose love because it is a natural topic for February because of Valentines Day. But more importantly, we chose love for our theme this month because today we are celebrating the tenth anniversary since our ONA vote. Ten years ago on February 13, 2000 our congregational voted in a special meeting to welcome all people. We approved the welcome statement that is printed each week on the bulletin. In many ways the vote was not so much the end of a decision-making process but the beginning of a journey. 

 In some ways it seems like a long time ago. This week Admiral Andrew Mullen, chairman of the joint Chiefs of Staff recommended that the American military re-examine their "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy for gays in the military. The admiral said that this policy encouraged young men and women to be dishonest about who they were and that is not good for them.  Our church has been on a journey too. We have come a long way in this decade.

   I still remember the way it felt in this sanctuary on the day we took the vote. The church was full. People from every age and part of the congregation had come to worship. But it seemed to me that the mood in the sanctuary during the service was tense, like the church was collectively holding its breath. After the final hymn Ted Murray, our moderator began the special congregational meeting.  In case of contentious debate, Nancy Pratt, former moderator served as parliamentarian. What surprised me most was the appearance of the youth at the back of the sanctuary as the meeting began. Teenagers who had been confirmed had come from all over the building to participate and to vote. They changed the atmosphere in the room. They were not nervous, and they considered ONA a no-brainer and they were loud. Whenever someone spoke in favor of the open and affirming vote they cheered and clapped. More than once the moderator felt compelled to call for order. After several votes on parliamentary procedure, the motion passed by a vast majority.

A small group of people did not agree with the decision and over time, they left the church. And those were hard "goodbyes". But other people came because they supported our decision and were searching for a church that valued diversity.  Families arrived who told me that they wanted their children to grow up in a church where we valued inclusiveness. While many other Christian churches have spent decades and tied themselves up in knots debating who was or was not welcome, we have moved on to work to create a church for people with open minds, open hearts and truly open doors.

Today I want to talk about why this was an important decision, and what it tells us a lot about our faith, our church and our mission going forward. In the first place, the decision to become open and affirming was a faith decision. The Bible starts with the story of creation. God created the sea and the land, the plants and the animals, and then God said, "This is good. I like what I am seeing here". Then God knew that there must be more to life, so God designed creatures in God's own image. So God created men and women, and God walked these new creatures around on the earth and pointed everything out, and then God declared, "Now this, this is very good." With the awe and wonder of a new father in the nursery God took delight in all these people and wanted them to thrive on the earth.

God did not stand back like an inventor and run the new product through trials. God paused like an artist, delighted by these works of art. The Bible tells us that God loves those original men and women in the same way that God loves each of us.  God gazes upon us each one, and says "Now this one, she is very good. Now that one he's made in my imagine.  From the beginning of time, we learn from Genesis that God created a world full of variety. We can assume that the variety in plants and animals and people was all part of what God found to be good.  This first story in the bible sets a tone, telling us that all the different people are god's children- everyone.  God intends that each of us with our unique blend of personality, potential, and physical attributes - is a gift from God to the world.

When I baptize a child in this place and walk down the aisle I talk about these wonderful little people we are blessing with the Sacrament of Baptism. In those moments we remind ourselves that God loves every one of them. God loves them without knowing yet who will be agile and who will be funny, who will be quick and who will be methodical, who will be adventurous and who will be homesick. When we baptize our children we don't know who will turn out left-handed, and who will have trouble sitting still, who will have dyslexia or who will be gay. In those moments, the Bible tells us none of it matters. God loves us just the way we are. Each child- everyone of them- is perfect.   God find us all fascinating, and charming and delightful.

In a world where people too often find cause to doubt their self-worth, most of us cannot hear enough that we are made in God's image, and that God loves us just the way we are. So when our church affirms all people, we do that because our faith teaches us that we are all - children of God - and precious in God's sight.

 In the second place, churches like ours can transform lives when we decide to become open and affirming. A lot of churches have been unwilling to welcome gay and lesbian, bi-sexual and transgendered people.  Their rejection has caused the same pain that the rejection of lepers and tax collectors did in Jesus' time.  Over the years I have seen this poignantly when I have worn my collar to the Boston Pride parade. I am so often humbled and touched by the pain of people when they see me in the parade or walking around that day. Often they stop or talk, tell me their story or seek my advice. Time and again I have seen tears in the eyes of strangers who responded with pain and joy to see that a representative of the church accepted them.  It is easy to forget that the predominant message that people have heard for decades is that gay people are condemned to hell.  Any church that offers  acceptance becomes a beacon of hope.

A lot of churches, even some UCC churches -have avoided taking a stand on this issue.  They say that everybody knows they are friendly, and that should be good enough.  They say that they do not want to make a big deal about this issue. They say they should not have to talk about this.  But in a world where so many churches have been the source of such condemnation, this is an opportunity to work for justice.  And I have seen that in the ten years since this ONA vote, the vote changed our church - it has changed not only the way we reach out to the world, but just as importantly, it has changed us, all of us.

In doing what we believed was the right thing, we have grown ourselves. This statement in our bulletin frees our congregation up to talk openly and honestly about our siblings, our children, and our parts of our lives that we cannot always share. If everyone is welcome, then we don't have to hide from each other quite so much.  In a church where everyone is welcome our youth lounge has a programs on gay rights. Our confirmands have the option to have a gay mentor. Our children learn how to talk about hard issues in respectful ways that they cannot always practice in the locker rooms  or hallways at school.  Hopefully that makes it safe for all our children to be themselves more fully. Begin an Open and Affirming church has given many of you permission to be more honest about your families or families of origin.  Before he died, one of our most distinguished and long-standing members told me he wanted to talk to me about ONA and I visited him at his apartment at North Hill.  He thanked me for my column in the newsletter supporting ONA.  Then he proceeded to tell me about his middle aged daughter who had come out as a lesbian.

When one of your mother's was diagnosed with cancer, you put a hospital bed in your home and I came to visit several times. There at the end of her life, while she was dying, this brave woman talked about her family. She described all her children, and told me her oldest daughter was gay. She could not talk about this in her home church. This woman who had to ration her strength did not have to edit her story for me. She did not have to waste energy censoring herself because she knew she could be honest with someone from our church.

Then, I need to tell you what a difference this ONA church has made in my own life. Your support for me had been humbling and gratifying in ways you may never fully appreciate. I am not sure I can really tell you adequately what you have done for me. When I told you I was divorcing I did not know how you would take that news but you were gracious and kind in ways that touched me enormously. But then when I told you several years later, that I was gay I did not know how you would respond. I worried that I would be testing our conviction about ONA in ways that were not fair to you. But your clear support has never wavered. In large and small ways you have helped me feel like a child of God. You helped me believe the message I try to deliver each week - was also for me. I doubt that you will ever completely understand what a gift you have given to me.  Your grace has transformed my life.

Finally, we still have work to do. History may see this last decade as a watershed for gay rights.  But there will always be work for churches that stand on the side of love. As long as children are being bullied in high school we have plenty to do. God needs us to stand on the side of love. As long as gay youth have the highest suicide rate of any teenagers we have plenty to do.  God needs us to stand on the side of love. As long as gay teens are disowned and turned out of their homes- as one African American girl was this weekend we have work to do. God needs us to stand on the side of love. As long as families wrestle with issues of openness and affirmation we have work to do. God needs us to stand on the side of love. But our church has proved itself a beacon in the community by welcoming each and everyone as a child of God. As long as we continue to do that we will change the world, one precious creature at a time.